Skip to content

Archives: Feb 2000

Paul Ryan Declared Athlete of the Century by All

Note: This column was written during my junior year at the University of Wisconsin-Superior, and published in the Promethean.

Paul Ryan, columnist

In a unanimous vote last Tuesday, the entire world picked me as the athlete of the century. I was ranked #51 on Sports Illustrated’s list, but that list is not official, because not everyone got to vote. As proof of my achievements, I’ve taken a picture of my ribbon for fifth place in the softball throw, which I won in fourth grade. Of course, I was in the “B” level, so technically, I came in fifth out of seven people in a class made up almost entirely of 10 year-old girls. But nevertheless, I won a ribbon, and they don’t give ribbons to losers.