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Archives: Mar 2000

A Conversation I Had While Drunk At A Party

Note: This column was written during my junior year at the University of Wisconsin-Superior, and published in the Promethean.

“Hey there. Nice to see you again. Who’s your friend there? Yes, the girl to the right. The big one that’s eating. *slap* I guess I deserved that. So what are you doing this weekend? We should go see a movie. Can’t you wash your hair some other night? Seriously, I’m into you– in fact, I was just telling my friend Tom here how I’m not even all that concerned about how a girl looks. *kick* That wasn’t very nice. My groin is stinging like crazy– are those steel-toe boots? Where are you going? Can you get me an ice pack?!??