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Archives: Mar 2001

Please try this at home

Note: This column was written during my senior year at the University of Wisconsin-Superior, and published in the Promethean.

Paul “Disco Afro Drunk” Ryan, Columnist

Hello you Irish freaks! Grab your booze and gather ’round, for today, in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I’ll be drinking heavily and answering fan mail from hideously unattractive UWS people like yourself!

Now obviously, trying to get a UWS student to actually write a letter to the editor would be about as successful as trying to rewrite the President’s entire State of the Union speech on an Etch-a-Sketch while rolling down a bumpy hill in a big rubber tire. So because of this, I have only received one letter. Others may say it’s because this column sucks royally, but people like that usually end up mopping up poo for a living, so never mind them.