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Archives: Nov 2001

Frank Haataja will die a cold, dark death when I kill him slowly with my own angry, shaking hands. . .and then everyone but Frank will have pie

Note: This column was written during my final semester at the University of Wisconsin-Superior, and published in the Promethean.

Paul Ryan, Columnist

*Note: Columnist Frank Haataja beat Paul in the hot or not contest. Hot Frank had 8.8 out of 10, while ugly Paul had only 8.5. Newcomer Mike Wallin came in at a scorching but not scorching enough 8.0, while Julius came in at a respectable 7.6. Huggy Bear brought shame to the entire group with his lowly 6.6. The following is Paul’s response to the results.

Hey! Frank! Guess what? You’re f*!@#&* fired, you filthy sack of crap! You hear me? Fired! F-I-R-E-D! Clean out your desk and go back to your feces-covered trailer home, you girly-legged game show host-lookin’ goon!

The final battle begins!

Note: This column was written during my final semester at the University of Wisconsin-Superior, and published in the Promethean.

Paul Ryan, Columnist

May 9, 2001 is a day that shall live in infamy. On May 9, Chancellor Julius Erlenbach and I, columnist Paul Ryan, battled for the crown of sexiest man alive by posting our pictures on the website www.hotornot.com and seeing who came out the victor.

Julius won this first battle, with a score of 7.2 out of 10 to my 6.9 out of that same particular number, which happens to be 10. The random voters on that website chose their king that day, but the students of UWS still have not.