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Archives: Dec 2001

The last column: my dirty little secret

Note: This column was written during my final semester at the University of Wisconsin-Superior, and published in the Promethean.

Paul Ryan, Columnist

So this is it. This is the last Ramblings column I’ll write. Let me say that I feel comfortable sitting here talking to you, reader. I would make the word “reader” plural, but I don’t want to lie to you, reader. You’re the only one. And as a reward, I’m going to tell you a secret.

I have something shocking I’d like to tell you, and I’m certainly not proud of it. In fact, I’m disgusted with myself for it, and I don’t expect you to feel any differently.

I know you think of me as some sort of non-athletic anti-jock who spends his evenings reading Whitman and Thoreau, but I have some startling news to tell you: I can’t read.