Timeline of failure
The evolution of Daily Ramblings
1997- Paul Ryan started writing the humor column "Ramblings" in February of 1997, for the Richfield High School student newspaper, The Spartan Spotlite. In October of that year, Paul started college at the University of Wisconsin-Superior and got a job working at the front desk of the Curran-McNeill-Ostrander dorm hall. This is where he spent the long, dull work hours learning web design. He created a website called "Paul's Super Happy Fun Page", and put all his high school Ramblings columns on it.
The website was small, difficult to navigate, and looked like a horrid pile of excrement. Its name was stupid as well, and the acronym for it, PSHFP, was annoying. Paul blames the alcohol he consumed in college for these poor decisions.
1998- Paul continued to consume alcohol, and the website just got worse. The frames website format, ugly as sin and popular with 15-year-old girls, was implemented. In October of 1998, Paul got a job as a humor columnist and opinions page editor with the campus newspaper, The Promethean. The newspaper was a filthy shitrag of a publication, and was laughed at by most. Paul's column helped students laugh even more, but this time in a good way.
Within a year, the newspaper was turned into a respectable publication, with the exception of Ramblings, which remained the paper's black eye until Paul graduated. But the column was popular, and Paul's website grew.
2000- Three years of success with Ramblings caused Paul to double his alcohol intake, which resulted in an even more horrid website design. "Hey, what if I made everything white, and displayed the website's confusing acronym more prominently?" asked Paul. Soon, the crippling depression that comes with alcohol abuse overtook Paul, and the website remained unchanged for two years.
Jan 2002- In some form of biblical miracle, Paul actually graduated from college in December of 2001. Without peer pressure or a popular bi-weekly humor column, Paul's ego and unquenchable desire for alcohol diminished. He woke up one morning to discover that his website looked like shit, and still had a shitty name.
Color was added back into the website, but Paul still didn't know what to do. He was no longer getting visitors to his site, because he was no longer writing columns. The few visitors who did come still suffered from involuntary seizures and vision problems. Something needed to be done to revive the website.
May 2002- Paul was hired as a reporter and photographer at a small weekly newspaper in Southeastern Minnesota. But he was bored, and decided to dedicate most of his free time to the website. The website was renamed "Daily Ramblings", files were switched over to an official domain name (www.dailyramblings.com), and columns were written daily, Monday through Friday. The Reader Weekly, an alternative weekly newspaper in Duluth, MN, began syndicating Paul's Ramblings columns.
Daily Ramblings was free of the frames layout, but it was still whiter than Paul himself, and now sported a bearded cartoon character from a bad comic strip Paul and a friend had created. New visitors to the site were terrified.
2003- The frightening bearded cartoon man was replaced with a pointless news ticker that was never updated properly. Instead of being fearful, new visitors assumed Daily Ramblings had been abandoned. Nice job, numbnuts.
2004- Ahhh, yes. This was the life. The front page was bathed in a dark blue color, and sported a flash box that rotated various compliments and rude comments people had made about the website. Daily columns - which were a strain on Paul and a bit too much for visitors - were scaled back to three columns a week, and a blog (The Crapalog) was added to the website. Unfortunately, the design of the front page was still ruined by Paul's ugly face.
2005- Be gone, vile face of Paul! A music blog was added to the already extensive content, and little rollover images on the main page told visitors what to expect from each section.
March 2006- Rollover images and cheesy logos are so 1999. The new title and arrows were given a punk rock look to hint at the crude content within. A creedo was added to the bottom of the page: "D-R does not subscribe to any religion, endorse any political party, or do anything other than feel OK." It's an homage to OK Soda, a failed 1990s Coca-Cola product.
March 2007- The website was consolidated into a blog to make it easier to read and update. Humor columns, still a bit much at three per week, were scaled back to one per week.
March 2010- The current design. Blogs were becoming a bit passe and took up time that could be used to write scripts or books, so Paul reduced the site to only columns and tweets. The more professional looking, newspaper-style redesign was hated by all, and everyone left for good. Now only seven people read Paul's columns.