Crapalog It's not a blog, it's a Crapalog. tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8675181 2005-04-17T01:46:23Z Blogger
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 Paul 2005-02-27T09:48:00-06:00 2005-02-27T15:58:21Z 2005-02-27T15:54:16Z tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8675181.post-110951965624606028 <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/news.png"> Saddam Hussein's half-brother caught. Is he gay or what? <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/saddamsbrother.jpg" /><br /><br />The Iraqi government has <a href="http://nytimes.com/aponline/international/AP-Iraq.html?hp&ex=1109566800&en=9f5cc39ad23942f9&ei=5094&partner=homepage">captured Sabawi Ibrahim al-Hassan</a>, Saddam Hussein's half-brother. And holy crap does he look gay. I mean, c'mon! The moustache? The <i>hair</i>? This guy's going to be dropping the soap in the shower <i>on purpose</i>. Paul 2005-02-25T14:23:00-06:00 2005-02-25T21:26:39Z 2005-02-25T21:08:36Z tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8675181.post-110936571655266941 <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/dumbass.png"> Fred Durst becomes second victim of phone hacking . . . here's a barf bag <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/tmobile.jpg" align=right>I always try to bring you the finest content, dear reader, and I'd like to think I do a good job of that. But sometimes when you're trying to make lemonade, life gives you a washed-up rap-rocker bumping uglies with a groupie instead. And for that I'm sorry, but it's hilarious news, so I have to post it.<br /><br />T-Mobile is having serious security problems with their phone accounts, and Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit is the second victim. The person who hacked into <a href="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/2005/02/how-fucking-stupid-can-paris-hilton.php">Paris Hilton's phone</a> recently <a href="http://www.juiceenewsdaily.com/0205/news/fred_durst.html">hacked into Durst's</a>, and guess what the hacker found? A cellphone video, with sound, of Durst having sex.<br /><br />That will teach them to hack into people's phone accounts.<br /><br />I beg of you, don't click <a href="http://rapidshare.de/files/702195/fdmovie_2005.wmv.html">the link</a><b>*</b>. I did, and now I'm blind. I've seen Fred Durst's penis, and I can't stop vomiting. I'm not even sure if this blog entry has posted, because my vision has yet to return. I'm just randomly pounding the keyboard and hoping I hit the publish button. ljksfadj kl;s dfakl j;ljk;df kljdsfklj;l; ds sdfkj lsd a;fj lk;asdf l;skjdalkj kl;jasklj ; kl; jsadl l;ksajdf<br /><br /><i><b>*Note:</b> I'm not allowed to host porn on this site, so I uploaded the clip to a free file hosting website. After you click the link, scroll to the bottom of the page, click the "free" button, scroll to the bottom of the page again, and watch as the time counts down until you can download (usually around 60 seconds). The page is in German, not English, but it's pretty easy.</i> Paul 2005-02-24T09:22:00-06:00 2005-02-24T15:52:06Z 2005-02-24T15:52:06Z tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8675181.post-110926032660029585 <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/news.png"> Is Anusmouth getting traded to Oakland? <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/mossraiders.jpg" align=right>Sorry, I like to refer to Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Randy Moss as "Anusmouth". It's a loving nickname.<br /><br />According to <a href="http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/sports/10974900.htm">quite</a> <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=1998159#Moss">a few</a> <a href="http://www.insidebayarea.com/sports/ci_2583501">sources</a>, the Vikings are trading Moss to the Oakland Raiders. I am torn on what to think about this deal.<br /><br />Should I be pissed off that my favorite team is trading the best wide receiver in the game? Or should I be happy the Vikings are getting a promising linebacker (Napoleon Harris), the seventh pick in the draft, another late-round pick, and are freeing up enough money to sign a great free agent receiver (Issac Bruce, Plaxico Burres, Mushin Mumhammad)? Or since the Vikings were already well under the salary cap and owner Red McCombs is a cheap bastard, should I be concerned this move is just making McCombs more money instead of making the team better?<br /><br />I know 95% of you don't care, but if you do, tell me what you think, reader. But please refrain from any comments about Moss being a "showboating punk" or a "jerk with a bad attitude". When it comes to sports, performance is all that matters. Those other aspects of the game are just crybaby things old farts like to whine about. Paul 2005-02-23T22:46:00-06:00 2005-02-24T05:11:48Z 2005-02-24T05:11:48Z tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8675181.post-110922190837123163 <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/news.png"> Jon Heder is not dead, you morons <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/hedernotdead.jpg" align=right>Grade and high schoolers everywhere are crybabying because they think the actor who played Napoleon Dynamite is dead. He's not. The rumor started with <a href="http://ninjapirate.com/napoleon_dynamite.html">this loser's website</a> (which, might I add, is a lame and boring thievery of <a href="http://maddox.xmission.com/">this awesome guy's</a> website idea), and thousands of high schoolers too stupid to actually check the facts first have started spreading the rumor everywhere. <br /><br />It's rather annoying.<br /><br />This reminds me of an idea I had a while back. With all the brainless 14-year-olds posting asinine crap online, we should make anyone under 18 get tested to see if they're smart enough for the internet. I know "smart enough for the internet" sounds like an oxymoron, but wouldn't the internet be better if people who don't know the difference between "too" and "to" aren't allowed on it?<br /><br />A similar test could be used for other things. Are you too old to drive? Are you too fat to take the elevator instead of the stairs? Are you too talkative to watch a movie in a theater? I'm telling you, this idea is a <i>gold mine</i>. Paul 2005-02-23T21:00:00-06:00 2005-02-26T22:17:23Z 2005-02-24T03:36:33Z tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8675181.post-110921619344490956 <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/dumbass.png"> You have been eliminated! <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/uglymodel.jpg" align=right>Hey, remember Stacy Klimek, the <a href="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/2005/02/shut-up-bitch-you-aint-that-pretty.php">conceited wannabe model</a> who was in the running for a Sports Illustrated model search, and claimed that for Minnesotans, she was "pretty much all they have"?<br /><br />Well, karma caught up with her, and <a href="http://www.nbc.com/nbc/Sports_Illustrated:_Swimsuit_Model_Search/models/stacy/">she was eliminated</a>. How sad. Back to working at the Baby Gap, snob.<br /><br />The judges instead chose this girl, Alicia. Smart choice, don't you think?<br /><img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/sihottiealicia.jpg" /> Paul 2005-02-22T18:16:00-06:00 2005-02-23T01:16:46Z 2005-02-23T01:12:10Z tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8675181.post-110912113061466097 <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/linkage.png"> Linkage: disco hottie webcam castration edition <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/pepsigirl.jpg" align=right>- Disco may be dead, but <a href="http://lelombrik.free.fr/LoMBriK/Ascenseur/">disco in elevators</a> is <i>freakin' hilarious</i>. (<a href="http://scienceandcrap.com">VIA</a>)<br /><br />- That girl from Pepsi's iTunes Superbowl commercial (pictured) <i>is</i> hot, but even so, <a href="http://thatpepsigirl.blogspot.com/">this is just silly</a>.<br /><br />- Dear Jesus, please give us access to a webcam located <a href="http://www.tnacso.net/cont/jailcam.shtml">in a Tennessee jail</a>. <i>Sweet!</i> Thanks!<br /><br />- "Oh, come on Donny, they were <a href="http://startribune.com/stories/587/5246973.html">threatening castration</a>! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?"<br /><br />- Typing games suck, because they involve learning. But somehow, a typing game where you're <a href="http://www.gamegarage.co.uk/play/axis-of-evil">saving the country from WMDs</a> is pretty fun.<br /><br />- As if you needed them: <a href="http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&u=/ap/20050216/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/terror_threat_5">more</a> <a href="http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/B/BUSH_IRAQ_AFGHANISTAN?SITE=VASTA&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT">reasons</a> <a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/iraq/la-na-pow15feb15,0,3155150.story?coll=la-home-headlines">to hate</a> <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/picture_gallery/05/middle_east_shooting_in_tal_afar/html/3.stm">George W. Bush</a>. Paul 2005-02-22T13:50:00-06:00 2005-02-22T19:56:35Z 2005-02-13T00:18:07Z tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8675181.post-110825388783723452 <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/popculture.png"> T-shirt heaven, baby <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/dryercat.jpg" align=right>There are few things more important in life than awesome t-shirts. I've thought it through completely, and aside from sexual encounters and free ice cream sandwiches, awesome t-shirts are tops. That's why I was so excited when I saw <a href="http://preshrunk.info/">Preshrunk</a>, a website dedicated entirely to cool t-shirts.<br /><br />Here's a few of the best ones they've featured, along with some I found on my own:<br /><br />- My favorite: retro-looking <a href="http://www.pcxhost.com/store/st7/tp8/products/product_detail.jsp?id=13257&unique=1108253535562&sid=6938CACE1080E58753A3C9CAD1D5B1A88A1EB3F2">Red Cross t-shirts</a>. Not only will you will look good, but people will also think you're a giving person. Suckers. I ordered one of these, and now I feel like I'm helping, even though I'm not.<br /><br />- The kitty on <a href="http://www.veer.com/products/merchdetail.aspx?image=VPR0001040">this t-shirt</a> looks like its been through the dryer, and that makes it adorable yet manly. Just like Scarlett Johansson.<br /><br />- I wish I were a <a href="http://secure.giantrobot.com/products.php?code=GRHELV&catid=C001">giant robot</a>. Here's another cool shirt that's <a href="http://secure.giantrobot.com/products.php?code=GGKITTYHEAD&catid=C008">only for girls</a>. Bummer.<br /><br />- <a href="http://crowdedteeth.com/index.cfm?Product_ID=CTTS0004&page=details.cfm&cartaction=none&thisrow=4&action=list&criteria=101&startrow=1&mystartrow=1&maxrows=10&cat=0&man=&stay=&afid=&searchcat_id=&itemprice=&searchfield=&searchman_id=&boolean=OR&var1=shop&var2=&var3=&return_product_id=&makeid=&modelid=&modelyear=">Crowded Teeth t-shirts</a> are becoming popular because the cast members of the TV show "Scrubs" are wearing them. Robots are nifty.<br /><br />- If you're into t-shirts that <a href="http://www.savemarykate.com/catalog/index.php">mock celebrities</a>, check out Johnny Awesome's store. I like the Britney Spears one.<br /><br />- If you're into cheesy '80s t-shirts, shoot yourself in the face. If the gun misfires, <a href="http://www.truffleshuffle.co.uk/store/index.php">visit here</a> and buy a <a href="http://www.truffleshuffle.co.uk/store/product_info.php?products_id=179">Goonies t-shirt</a> or something. Then try shooting yourself again.<br /><br />(<a href="http://scienceandcrap.com">VIA</a>) Paul 2005-02-20T22:49:00-06:00 2005-02-21T04:58:28Z 2005-02-21T04:52:54Z tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8675181.post-110896157484175358 <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/news.png"> Hunter S. Thompson committed suicide today <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/huntersthompson.jpg"><br /><br />If Hunter S. Thompson, one of the greatest and most creative writers in history, <a href="http://startribune.com/stories/466/5251676.html">can't make it</a> in this world without shooting himself, what the fuck chance do the rest of us have? Thompson was found dead in his home in Aspen, CO today. He was 67. What a damn shame. Thompson was one of my heroes, and with his and Arthur Miller's death, this world is running out of great writers very quickly.<br /><br />RIP, buddy. RIP. Paul 2005-02-20T18:44:00-06:00 2005-02-21T03:11:22Z 2005-02-21T01:22:51Z tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8675181.post-110894897130441620 <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/dumbass.png"> How fucking stupid can Paris Hilton possibly be? <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/hiltoncameraphone.jpg" align=right>What is it Paris Hilton doesn't get about the danger of recording yourself naked? IF YOU DO IT, SOMEONE WILL EVENTUALLY FIND IT AND POST IT ON THE INTERNET. Someone has hacked into Hilton's T-Mobile phone account and <a href="http://gorillamask.net/parisphone.shtml">posted a lot of personal things</a>, including cameraphone photos of her (<a href="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/oopshilton1.jpg">a</a> <a href="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/oopshilton2.jpg">few</a> <a href="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/oopshilton3.jpg">of which</a> <a href="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/oopshilton4.jpg">involve nudity</a>), celebrity phone numbers, and embarrassing notes she wrote to herself that she forgot to erase.<br /><br />Christ, woman! Is there no end to your mediocrity? Go live in a hut somewhere and read books until you're not stupid anymore. However, we can't shun Hilton completely. There <i>is</i> one redeeming photo of her and <a href="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/images/hiltonreynolds.jpg">Burt Reynolds</a>. I mean, it's Burt Reynolds! I wish I had a picture of me and Burt Reynolds. Unfortunately, his phone number isn't listed in Hilton's address book. Now I'm sad.<br /><br />Anyway, here's the contact information of all the celebrities I recognized. I doubt any of them will work anymore, but it's worth a shot:<br /><br /><b>Christina Aguilera</b> (singer) 310-917-9191<br /><b>Lil' Bow-wow</b> (rapper) boywonder@tmail.com<br /><b>Paris' dad</b> 310-871-7848<br /><b>Paris' mom</b> 310-471-3026<br /><b>Fred Durst</b> (terrible rapper) 310-948-0808 | fd@attwireless.blackberry.net<br /><b>Eminem</b> (rapper) 917-776-7643<br /><b>Fergie</b> (Black-eyed Peas bandmember) 323-855-9056<br /><b>Seth Green</b> (actor) 323-573-0046<br /><b>Nicky Hilton</b> (Paris' sister) 310-926-5149<br /><b>Anna Kournikova</b> (tennis player) 305-206-5883<br /><b>David LaChappelle</b> (photographer) 917-513-2859<br /><b>Avril Lavigne</b> (singer) 613-532-4092<br /><b>Adam Levine</b> (Maroon 5 singer) 323-384-5068 | sudgee@tmail.com<br /><b>Lil' Jon</b> (rapper) 678-362-6742<br /><b>Lindsay Lohan</b> (actress) 347-596-9990 | crossheart@tmail.com<br /><b>Frankie Muniz</b> (actor) fmuniz@tmail.com<br /><b>Chad Muska</b> (skateboarder) 323-547-0552<br /><b>Ashley Olsen</b> (Olsen twin) 310-760-1996<br /><b>Nicole Richie</b> (actress) 213-319-5323 | NRichie@tmo.blackberry.net | nrichie@mycingular.blackberry.net<br /><b>Andy Roddick</b> (tennis player) 512-228-2207<br /><b>Paul Ryan</b> (famous humor columnist) paulryan@dailyramblings.com<br /><b>Ashlee Simpson</b> (singer) 310-254-7114<br /><b>Usher</b> (singer) crusher@tmail.com<br /><b>Vin Diesel</b> (actor) 310-279-6312<br /><b>Luke Wilson</b> (actor) 310-903-0500 Paul 2005-02-19T13:39:00-06:00 2005-02-19T19:41:40Z 2005-02-19T19:41:40Z tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8675181.post-110884210091087684 <img src="http://dailyramblings.com/blog/personal.png"> Be nice. Don't steal from window lickers
I stopped at McDonald's for lunch today, and a retarded guy in line pulled out his wallet. It had a chain attached to it, as is the style for big city people who don't want their wallets stolen. But it made me wonder, "Who the hell would steal a retarded guy's wallet?" I mean, how much could he possibly have in there? $1.45 in nickels?