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- Kinda wanna bang the girl in the commercial though, just so I could say I did.
2 days ago - 20 years from now, that shitty "education connection" commercial will still be stuck in my head.
2 days ago - New column is up with all new jokes! Unlike my actual life, which is just the same joke played endlessly. http://t.co/XEZKM1ex
3 days ago - I've got some leftover chocolate cake from dinner. I'm going to do that whole Bill Cosby "chocolate cake for breakfast" bit tomorrow.
5 days ago - Not that it matters these days, but if Ferris Bueller is promoting a car, it should probably be an American one since he's an American icon.
1 week ago - Watching USC & UCLA alumni arguing over who has the smartest people is like watching two eunuchs arguing over who has the biggest dick.
1 week ago - Every time I see a cockroach in my apartment, I think to myself, "At least it's not a rat."
1 week ago - Every single night, without fail, when King of the Hill comes on after 30 Rock, I shout "Goddamn it!" and quickly turn my TV off.
1 week ago - Remember the old days, before cellphones, when you had to poop without looking at LOLcats? Me neither.
1 week ago - Attention bitter white women: You are not Liz Lemon. She's fictional, is a showrunner for a TV show, and doesn't own three cats.
1 week ago - More updates...
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