September 11 Anniversary Column

original print date, September 11 2002

.....

...................Paul Ryan

HOORAY! WE WEREN'T ATTACKED TODAY!

YEAH! NO CRASHING PLANES!

WHOO! EVERYTHING CALM AND SANE!

CABBAGE PATCH OF CELEBRATION! WHOO YEAH!

COMING 'ROUND WITH THE LAST O' THE FULL CABBAGE DANCE!

YEAH! DAMN FUNKY! DAMN FUNKY, BOY!

HOORAY FOR AMERICA!
HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE SEPTEMBER 11, YOU CRAZY KIDS.

In addition to today's online column, I'm including a copy of a column I wrote for my newspaper this week. As I've said during earlier additions of columns from my "real job", I don't quite have the freedom at work that I have here. But I think you may very well enjoy it anyway. Click here for Paul's latest watered-down column!