Hey kids, Paul's a little busy tonight writing articles for The Newspaper– which employs him– so today's column will just consist of the new sticker designs he created.
You'll notice that the first one is intellectual. It uses a big word: "Paterfamilias." Do you know what that word means, reader? Well, then grab an encyclopedia, you lazy uneducated bastard.
You'll also notice that this is the first and only sticker to use pictures of Paul, instead of Phil. So now you can vandalize public property and get Paul in trouble. Yaaay!
The second sticker is political. Phil says no to war, and so should you. This particular sticker is fun to put all over your grandpa's pickup truck when he's sleeping. Especially if grandpa is a Republican.
The third and final new sticker is just a silly one. It looks kinda cool, though. Tons of little Phils, as if you were watching Phil's fictional sperm through a microscope. You know what else is cool about this design? If you're a really cheap bastard, you can order a bunch of these stickers, and use them as wallpaper in your trailer home.
So there you go, reader. More fun freebies from your old pal, Paul. Order some of these new stickers, free of charge, by clicking here. The old sticker design is also still available.
P.S. In case you didn't already notice from the front page, the comic strip, "Mr. Cornelius Watercloset", will now appear on Tuesdays. "Audio Update" has been switched to Thursdays. This was done so Paul can live life without feeling like he wants to hang himself at the beginning of each week. Enjoy!
– which employs him– so today's column will just consist of the new sticker designs he created.
