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Guess Who's Dead!

original print date, November 22 2002

.....
...................Paul Ryan

Hello, and welcome to our first edition of the fabulous Daily Ramblings game show, "Guess Who's Dead". You will get 10 points every time you correctly answer who's dead, but it will all amount to nothing, as the lack of prizes will soon have you spiraling from your high ivory tower down into the deep, dark pits of hideous depression.

But that's okay, because in "Guess Who's Dead", the only real losers are the people who are dead.


ROUND ONE! GUESS THIS ONE, YOU INSUFFERABLE NUTSACK!

John Deere

…..

Alan Dugan


ROUND TWO! GO AHEAD AND GUESS, FARTKNOCKER JERRY'S KID!

Jim Varney

…..

Jack Palance


ROUND THREE! FUNNY ME THIS, POMPUS DINGLEBERRY!

Madeline Kahn

…..

Soupy Sales


ROUND FOUR! FAT MAN TAP DANCE YOUR WAY TO THIS ANSWER, IMPOTENT SCOUNDREL!

Jonathan Winters

…..

Danny Kaye


ROUND FIVE! BEWITCH THIS ONE, VILE BEDWETTER!

Dick York

…..

Dick Sergeant


ROUND SIX! GUESS THIS ONE, YOU INSUFFERABLE TARD!

Dana Plato

…..

Charles Nelson Reilly


FINAL ROUND! HANDLE THIS ONE, JIVE TURKEY POOPFACE!

Fred MacMurray

…..

Bob Newhart

Did you get a good score? Let me know by e-mailing me at the link below!



It's Friday, and it's time to drink! Here's a delightful and delicious concoction from jmelchert:

1 part vodka
1 part tap water
1 part Tang drink mix

Mix to taste, people. Mix to taste. All submissions are greatly appreciated, and desperately needed. Send in your own special drinks through the e-mail link below. I'll post one each Friday, so others can get their drinkin' on. Yeah!