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No column? You bastard!

original print date, February 4 2003

.....

...................Paul Ryan

Why is there no column today?

Because Tuesday is deadline day at The Newspaper, and Paul is spending all of Monday night writing articles.

Why is Paul still writing his articles for The Newspaper?

Because Paul was at a newspaper convention from Thursday until Saturday, so he is behind this week.

Why didn't Paul finish his newspaper articles on late Saturday, or on Sunday?

See this column.

But hey, here's some other things to keep you from working or enriching your personal life today:

Here's the coolest flash site ever.
Here's a bunch of short, funny stuff.
Here's some hilarious Dorkus clothing.
Here's the angriest man alive.
Here's the best science website ever.
Here's all the soda pop you could ever want.
Here's the best bacon in the world. My favorite is the Burger's Sugar Cured bacon.
Here's a cool voice thing. You can make it say whatever you want. Even dirty things.
Here's how you find out whether Paul's website is working or not. Paul's website is on the "perth.myacen.com" server.
Finally, here's your morning news and comment.

Regular columns will resume again tomorrow.