Craplogging: the new wave of the lazy future

When I say craplogging is the shite, I'm not talking about the Muslim group. That's Shiite. I'm talking about shite, which is a lame British sort of way to swear without having my entire site blocked by your workplace's content filters.

Anyway, I'm tired today, and don't feel like doing any actual work. Usually when I feel like this, I just throw together a lame blog, but today I'm even too lazy for that. If I'm going to write humor today, it's going to be a maximum one or two funny sentences per subject. Nothing more.

This idea got me thinking. Bloggers are traditionally just people who are too lazy to actually write an entire column or essay on a subject, and people who read blogs are usually just too lazy to read an entire column or essay. So why don't we take blogs, and make them even shorter?

Let's take a blog and trim the content down to one humorous comment for each topic. One joke. A few sentences, nothing more. It's like stand-up comedy in blog form. I think this style could catch on.

Since I just invented this new style of blogging, I get to name it. Instead of a "blog", I will call this new form a "crapalog" (pronounced crap-a-log). When people ask you what the hell a crapalog is, you can say, "It's not a blog, it's a crapalog." Users of this style can call themselves "craploggers" (pronounced cra-ploggers), the active form of which will be "craplogging" (pronounced cra-plogging).

The greatest part about craplogging is that you can use any existing blog tools to do it. This means that as the inventor of the style, I don't have to do anything besides sit on my fat ass and watch it spread across the Internet like leprosy at the YMCA.

The second greatest part about craplogging is that 99% of people will mispronounce it as crap-logging instead of cra-plogging, which will give you the opportunity to lash out at them for their stupidity, and lack of trendiness. And you know you love doing that, you pretentious little indie a-hole.

By a-hole, I of course mean asshole. You goddamn asshole.

I was going to try out this new style of writing with my own crapalog, but the software I was using to do it was a big piece of crap. So I'll have to find something else in the meantime that allows me to keep all the templates and files on my own website.

Wednesday Music Spotlight. Does this sound like summertime music to you, reader? It sounds like summertime music to me. It's The Raveonettes, and they're . . . well, nobody knows who the hell they are. But it's a good, upbeat song that'll get you through hump day without any need for humping at all.

This song doesn't come out until August 25, but thanks to Apple's iTunes Music Store, I was able to download it as a single. Gotta love the iTunes Music Store. Gotta love Apple.

Rate column 5 - Great 4 - Good 3 - Average 2 - Poor 1 - Awful

Reader Comments

page:   1

thejerk@dailyramblings.com      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm        Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   Paul Ryan      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   Most of those require Perl (CGI bins), which I gave up when I switched to the cheaper server. I\'m making progress with iBlog, but it\'s slow going. zam      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   Blogspot sounds like a problem a tampon could fix. TractorInc      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   Have you tried blogspot? Blogger has a new interface and features since their last iteration. Also, I hear MovableType is good. Paul Ryan      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   Actually, I\'m a hypocrite because I wasn\'t even able to get my own damn crapalog working. I\'m working on it, though. TractorInc      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   One more thing, the Ravonettes are playing at the First Ave early September, if I remember correctly. You should go see them. And tell me how it went. Because I can\'t. TractorInc      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   Bully for you on the music spotlight! It\'s great stuff. You know, I have found that most blogs (including mine, over time, devolve into exactly what you speak of. I fully attribute this to laziness. And business. And swarthiness.

page:   1