Saddam69692003 "War criminal in search of companion, green card"
I am a:
located in:
looking for a:
my ethnicity:
body type:
height:
turn-ons:
turn-offs:
sense of humor:
65 year-old man
High-security Qatar prison
18 to 90-year-old woman,
within the United States
Middle Eastern
A little bit of a fat ass
6'0"
Weapons, torture, deception, quiet games of Chinese checkers, camels.
Infidels, diplomacy, American armed forces, people who chew gum loudly.
Obscure: I'm usually the only one laughing.
What do you do for fun?
I ruled Iraq for a while, which was nice, but then the Americans attacked, and I was forced to flee from my plush palaces and hide. But before I fled to the crawl space underneath a house near Tikrit, life was wonderful. We had waterslides, camel rides, ice cream twice a day, free Cinemax and The Movie Channel, and massive orgies with female virgins. One time, Tariq Aziz taught us how to make balloon animals. Ahhhhh, those were the days!
Favorite hot spots:
My hole, where I lived for many months. I have many memories there of cleaning my pistol, growing my beard, and huddling in the dark while praying for Allah to kill me. I also enjoy Pittsburgh. I have never been there, but from the brochures I see, it looks delightful.
Last read:
"Very Hungry Caterpillar" by Eric Carle. The infidels call this a children's book, but I enjoy it too. There are little holes in the pages where you can wiggle your fingers, just like the caterpillar. Many pleasurable days and nights were spent in my hole with this book. I also read "Berenstain Bears' in Big Bear City", but I did not understand it. These bears, how do they talk, and why do they wear overalls? They are bears. Only the infidels would have bears dressed like people. Shameful.
Who I'd like to meet:
Since I have been captured by the cursed American infidels, I am in a bit of a tight spot. But if I can marry a woman who is a citizen of the United States, I will be granted a green card, which I hope will help me get a lighter sentencing. Perhaps after a while in prison, I can be released and find work in a small bookstore, or as a drug dealer. Oh, if you are interested in becoming my sham wife, when you e-mail me please let me know how I can contact you. I did not pay for a Match.com account, so I cannot contact you.
Everything sounds good except my damn gum chewing,it tends to get loud! There goes my chance!
Paul Ryan
Dec 15, 2003 • 4:13pm
Not "a" deer fornication book. YOUR deer fornication book.
Aaron J. Brown
Dec 15, 2003 • 3:25pm
Nice one. "I'm usually the only one laughing." Good line. When you're not superimposing my head onto a deer fornication book, you are a talented writer.
Katers
Dec 15, 2003 • 2:24pm
That's one sexy beard, I'm telling you. He must have worked hard to cultivate it.
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Saddam69692003
