Stop picking on smokers

I hate smoking. I hate the smell of it, the way it makes my eyes water, and the way the stench clings to my clothing like Paula Abdul to the last pathetic scraps of her "career" on American Idol. When I lived in Duluth, MN, I was ecstatic when the city banned smoking in bars and restaurants, because I was finally able to go out to the bars and come home without reeking like an ashtray. It was like heaven.

But even a hardcore anti-smoking person like myself has to draw the line somewhere. I don't think requiring smokers to go without a cigarette for a thirty-minute meal in restaurants is out of line, but I'm not going to support efforts that hit their wallets. "Mild inconvenience" and "financial sabotage" are two entirely different things.

On Tuesday, four former surgeons general proposed a $2 increase to the cigarette excise tax - that's the extra "sin tax" smokers. A similar "sin tax" is added to alcohol, though no one has proposed raising that tax. So what used to cost smokers an extra 39 cents per pack may soon cost them $2.39 per pack. That's a 612% increase.

Advocates of the plan say the dramatic price increase would cause 5 million people to quit smoking. If you want to help people stop smoking, that's fine, but don't do it by bankrupting them. Studies say most smokers want to quit but can't. I say that's a load of crap. It's like a New Year's resolution. You say you "want" to go to the gym regularly, but it's too hard, so you stop. Obviously, it's because it's only something they thought they wanted. Likewise, many smokers who say "One of these days I should quit" don't necessarily want to.

My dad smoked for many years, and quit when I was in high school. He didn't need nicotine patches or gum, or some fancy program to help him. He quit cold turkey. Granted, he was a real pain in the ass around the house for a while, but he did it, and anyone else who dedicates themselves to quitting can do the same. You don't need to rip off the smokers who don't want to quit just to help some who do.

As odd as this sounds coming from a non-smoker, I'll say it: enough is enough, people. Let's stop picking on smokers. Smoking is a personal choice, and while laws have been set in place - and will continue to be set in place - to keep smoke from affecting the health of non-smokers, there's no reason to keep attacking their wallets. And yes, I know it's important to keep teens from smoking, but that doesn't give the government the right to jack up the prices by two bucks a pack.

I'm a beer drinker, and if the "sin tax" on beer was sextupled, I'd be furious. I'd write multiple letters a day to my political representatives, chastising them for trampling on my freedom of choice. If $2 is added to the sin tax on cigarettes, smokers should react in the same way.

Sadly, the news article I read on the cigarette tax increase didn't have any comments from people who oppose the tax. The Associated Press reporter, Hope Yen, did a real half-assed job. With a proposal this controversial, there needs to be opinions from both sides included in the story. The public shouldn't have to get their news from a humor columnist like me.

Likewise, smokers shouldn't have to get their cigarettes through a loan from the bank. Call your representative today and get this program thrown in the ashtray, where it belongs.

Southern Comfort is tasty, and I think it should be used in more drinks. Most people just mix it with Mountain Dew, but there are many other ingredients that go well with SoCo. Cyber Smoke is an example of a good SoCo cocktail. 1 oz. Southern Comfort 1/2 oz. lemon vodka 3 oz. orange juice If you can find a small piece of edible dry ice, that will make it smoke. Then people will think you're neat . . . or that your drink is on fire. Drink archives