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Olympic lookalikes: winning the gold is great, but looking like a washed-up celebrity is priceless Paul Ryan Maybe I have too much time on my hands, but when you watch the Olympics for half a week straight, you tend to start noticing things. Hey, that swimmer looks like a caucasian rapper! Hey, that softball player looks like a porn star! Hey, that female sprinter looks like a man! Here's all my Olympic lookalike observations. If you have any of your own, feel free to post them in the comments section. HTML is enabled, so you can illustrate your own observations with photos or links to photos.
 Being a gymnast is not a typical "guy thing" to do, but Paul Hamm's butt cut hairstyle is typical among Wisconsin residents, so at least the Wisconsin native has that going for him. The history of bad Wisconsin haircuts also makes it unlikely that Hamm is secretly obsessed with Alfalfa from "The Little Rascals". This should make us all feel a little better, because there's nothing worse than watching a guy twist around on a pommel horse when you know he's thinking about a dead little boy.
 If I didn't have the names listed below their photos, would you honestly be able to tell the difference between softball pitcher Jennie Finch and porn star Jenna Jameson? They have the same hair, the same face, the same makeup job, and could probably pass themselves off as identical twins. Well, at least until you got them in the bedroom and realized Jameson is loose enough to fit a refrigerator inside her vagina. But beggars can't be choosers.
 Speaking of identical twins, take a look at water polo star (Is "star" the right word? Didn't think so) Tony Azevedo and actor Matthew McConaughey. Azevedo looks like McConaughey on a vicious bender, or after a gang has beaten him viciously and poured a lifetime worth of chlorine in his eye sockets. But don't feel bad, Azevedo. At least you weren't involved in the film, "The Wedding Planner."
 This one's just plain mean. I apologize in advance. But really, track star Marion Jones does look like actor Cuba Gooding Jr. in that photo. Just take away the loop earrings, change her hair a bit, and give her one Oscar-winning movie role and a dozen really awful ones. Just imagine the children these two would bear if they had a cheap one-night stand. Oh, the horror. The horror!
 Swimmer Michael Phelps may be a star in the swimming pool, but he looks like 7'7" mutant (and former NBA player) Gheorghe Muresan when he poses with his medals. Phelps can escape this same fate this year by changing his hairstyle and . . . well, I guess he can't really do anything about that watermelon-shaped head and Popeye chin, can he? However, Phelps did show a different look in an advertisement he did for a swimming speedsuit. 
 Whoa. Hold on, just . . . just let me catch my breath for a second. Okay, thanks. Mountain biker Niki Gudex is a stone cold fox, and to tell you the truth, I don't think a damn one of us cares whether she bares any resemblance to Mary Kate Olsen (or is that Ashley? Invest in some nametags, damn it!) or not. Granted, the Olsen twins are billionaires, which makes them the ultimate sugar mommas for lazy men like myself, but there's always money in being hot, so I'd say Gudex is set for life. I wouldn't turn her down, and neither would you.
 All right, all right. You got me. I was just looking for an excuse to post a picture of Bob Rooney from the TV show "Married With Children". But shotputter Adam Nelson may look like Rooney in a few years when he lets himself go. Only three chins to go, Nelson! 
 Volleyball star Kerri Walsh is way hotter than Blossom, who is famous from the 80s sitcom of the same name, but Blossom could be fixed up to look somewhat like Walsh. Their hair and the shape of their heads is similar. Sure, Walsh has a six-pack and a perfectly toned body while Blossom has probably ballooned to the size of Rosie O' Donnell, but thin out those Martin Scorcese eyebrows, get her a nose job, and teach her not to smile like a mentally retarded kid, and then you'll have something to shout about. Well, something to "shout" about very quietly.  Join Daily Ramblings Express today!
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