Amusing quotes from Bush's Republican convention speech

"We have seen a shaken economy rise to its feet."

And then fall back to its knees again! Flip-flop!

"I believe every child can learn..."

You are correct sir! The human brain is amazing!

"America's schools are getting better..."

Is that why most areas in my state (Minnesota) are planning to close schools? I was told that was from severe lack of funding.

"Soon every senior will be able to get prescription drug coverage..."

For the same extremely high price they've always been able to get it for!

"To create jobs, my plan will encourage investment and expansion by restraining federal spending..."

Just like how you restrained federal spending over the last four years by making the deficit skyrocket by trillions of dollars.

"Because religious charities provide a safety net of mercy and compassion, our government must never discriminate against them."

To hell with the Constitution and the vision of our forefathers! Let's exclusively support Christianity! That is, unless you were planning on letting our government support charities for Buddhist, Islamic, Jewish, and Satanic churches, too? Didn't think so.

"Because the union of a man and woman deserves an honored place in our society, I support the protection of marriage against activist judges."

Gays aren't real people! Just ignore them and they'll go away!

"We have tripled funding for homeland security and trained half a million first responders, because we are determined to protect our homeland."

Did you train our first responders to fight like ninjas? Is that how they'll help protect our country?

"We must, and we will, confront threats to America before it is too late."

Except North Korea and Iran. Those bastards scare the bejeesus out of us!

"And I have met with parents and wives and husbands who have received a folded flag, and said a final goodbye to a soldier they loved."

That seems like an event the news would have covered quite extensively. Yet I don't remember you visiting with the families of fallen soldiers. In fact, I seem to remember you being criticized for not attending a single funeral of a dead soldier.

"This young century will be liberty's century."

I guess the century when we liberated ourselves from the British will just have to be the "pseudo-liberty" century.

And just for fun, let's include Zell Miller, a Democrat who spoke in support of Bush at the convention Wednesday, and gave this gem of a quote after becoming extremely angry on the TV show "Hardball".

"I wish we lived in a time where I could challenge you to a duel!"

And here's a quote Zell Miller gave in the past when introducing John Kerry to the Democratic party of Georgia:

"My job tonight is an easy one: to present to you one of this nation's authentic heroes, one of this Party's best known and greatest leaders - and a good friend."

Finally, here's one last bit of fun, a chart showing what percentage of time Bush spent talking about each major issue in his speech:

6/5 column rating (7 votes) Rate column 5 - Great 4 - Good 3 - Average 2 - Poor 1 - Awful

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