To hell with Mary-Kate

A few days ago, Daily Ramblings reader Randy Bol and his business partner, Melissa Moss, received a cease and desist letter from Dualstar Entertainment, the billion dollar mega-company owned by the Olsen Twins. Dualstar has ordered them to stop producing and selling their popular "Save Mary-Kate" shirts.

Is the shirt tasteless? Abso-freakin'-lutely. Is it illegal? Not a chance. But since Dualstar has enough money to buy God plus a pony, there's no way to fight it. It's sad, really. Let's take a look at the ridiculousness of the charges.

Trademark infringement. The shirt doesn't use the full name of Mary-Kate Olsen. It just uses the first name of Mary-Kate. You can't copyright only a first name, or at least not in this case. You also can't copyright someone else's drawing. Since the drawing of Mary-Kate is an obvious parody, it's not trademark infringement.

False representation of origin. Nowhere on the Save Mary-Kate website does it say anything to make people think it's supported by the Olsen Twins themselves. While the shirt slogan is "Save Mary-Kate", it's obvious the money isn't going towards helping her. Once again, it's a parody.

Cybersquatting. They can't be serious. I wasn't aware that a blogspot website, www.savemarykate.blogspot.com, would be so highly coveted by the Olsen Twins. And correct me if I'm wrong, but to be convicted of cybersquatting, I'm pretty sure Bol and Moss would have to purchase the domain name and then try to sell it to the Olsen Twins.

Unauthorized commercial use of name and likeness. Once again, it's protected because it's parody. See here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. These are just a few examples of t-shirts that use the likeness of someone for profit and as a form of parody.

Unfair business practices and false advertising. Just piling on anything they can think of, aren't they? As I stated before, there's no false advertising here. You pay $20, you get an amusing shirt. End of story.

But hey, if Dualstar wants to get pissy about it, I'm sure Bol and Moss can just use the image for a different t-shirt. I've created a few ideas myself.

Okay, so this one really isn't any better. But really, if Dualstar's going to sue, why not throw in the cokehead joke, too? Might as well get your kicks in where you can.

Simple and sophisticated. The girl in the drawing (who is not Mary-Kate anymore) is the essence of the word "bitch". She's way too thin, way too sure of herself, and way too greedy living in her posh million dollar college campus apartment made especially for her and her dumb sister, neither of which really have any talent.

Oops. Sorry.

This one's my favorite. It still makes fun of Mary-Kate, but doesn't refer to her name specifically. Plus, I really enjoy the word "cokehead". Just say it, reader. It's enjoyable to say. COKEHEAD. Isn't that enjoyable? COKEHEAD. I'm not sure why, but saying that word is just downright pleasant.

To hell with it. Let's really go after Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, and hit them where it hurts by telling the truth.

Marc Broussard Similar to:  Lenny Kravitz, Ben Harper Lots of the music I post in WMS is aimed at young people, but Marc Broussard that everyone will enjoy. A perfect fusion of blues and rock makes him one of the best new acts I've heard. The music is catchy, and his voice is off the charts. If his picture didn't prove Broussard is white, you'd swear he wasn't. Instructions Music archives

Rate column 5 - Great 4 - Good 3 - Average 2 - Poor 1 - Awful

Reader Comments

page:   1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

nikki      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   I soo disagree with you , yes mary-kate did drugs and became anorexic but that doesnt concern you! she didn\'t even do it for you she did it because thats what she wanted and thats what made her happy with who she is.... charlotte      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   hia i dnt think the olsen twins can act 2 save their lives, but i stil think they\'re great and theve done extremly well 4 themselves and they deserve it, they have worked hard. I do feel for MK but i think that an eating disorder isnt her only problem. Still hope she gets better x Lena      Sep 6, 0288 • 11:40am   Mary kate ist klasse ! holly mka no. 1 fan      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   OI MK IS DA BEST EVA DONT SAY STUFF LIKE THAT SO FUK U kris with a k      Sep 6, 5561 • 11:37am   who cares, its funny. just laugh goddammit. since when did we become a bunch of sterile humourless sap like community? get a grip, do you think the people who wear i love NY on their t-shirts really like New York?? exactly. when people have kill george bush on a website do you think that given the opportunity to kill him they would? no. EXACTLY. get a fucking grip...then have a laugh. jesus h fucking god damn titty fucking christ. Kendra      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   Well I wont lie. I have one of those T-Shirts,(I just got the print then made it myself) but I still love Mary-Kate. I figure it\'s kind of funny and at the time I wanted Mary-Kate saved. Not the tshirts you made though, one of the originals. I dont blame dualstar for not wanting those tshirts around anymore. The point is MARY-KATE ROCKS, annnd you dont becuase your a dick. Annika      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   you prick! asshole. kaz      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   im bulimic and to be honist all this shit thats been said bout mary kate is upsetin! but some people just dont no what its rli like and by the sounds of it ur 1 of them!!!:p karla      Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm   OMG!!!! u low lifes havn\'t u got any thing better 2 do than take the piss out of the olsen twins!! it isnt her fault , shes been though alot of shit, how would you like it!! katie      Sep 6, 8706 • 11:36am   ilove you mary-kate and ashley u r the best

page:   1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9