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A comparison of actor Corey Haim, actor Corey Feldman, and Nobel Prize laureate Elias James Corey
original print date, September 27 2004
Paul Ryan
| Name |
 Corey Haim |
 Corey Feldman |
 Elias James Corey |
| Nickname |
Space Ace |
Core |
JC Bitchsmacka |
| Height |
5' 6" |
5' 3" |
Not sure, but probably the tallest of the Coreys |
| Hair |
Hilarious |
Hilarious |
Hilarious |
| Current age |
32 |
33 |
76 |
| Age stardom hit |
13 |
14 |
62 |
| Had role in classic 1989 body switching comedy, "Dream A Little Dream"? |
Yes |
Yes |
No, but really wanted to |
| Best achievements |
"Lost Boys", "License to Drive" |
"Lost Boys", "The Goonies" |
Nobel Prize, spiffy eyeglasses |
| Current standing |
Loser |
Loser |
Still has job |
| Filed for bankruptcy? |
Yes |
Not yet |
No |
| Drug problem? |
Yes |
YES! |
No |
| A lardass now? |
YES |
No |
No |
| Has herpes now? |
Probably |
Probably |
Probably |
| Had sex with Nicole Eggert from "Charles in Charge"? |
Yes |
No |
Yes |
| How will he die? |
Heart problems from being a fatty |
Overdose after drug treatment relapse |
From embarrassment, after going to emergency room to have Nobel Prize removed from anus |
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 | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | | | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | | Hot ass guy | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | Corey Haim is gay! look on the back of his door in his room in Lost Boys, Half naked guy on a poster hanging up! | | i have a hard on for corey feldman | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | ah me so horny me love corey feldman for along time tity smackers
| | pussy cat | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | fuck you all feldman rocks i love him!! | | Susan | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | Corey Haim is going to lose weight and make a comeback! | | jesicca | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | i think you\'ll find that corey feldman has been clean for a decade and you are obviously a jealous little man | | martin | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | feldman-stand by me
| | homsar | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | the best was : \"had sex with nicole eggert?\" | | | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | yes, more celeb comparisons. its always fun to make fun of feldman. |
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