Let's Face Reality

It’s Monday, and I am the bringer of poor news: you are nothing but a fad.

Don’t feel bad, though. Everyone is a fad. You are. Your mother is. Your father is. All of your friends are. Every single person on earth is a big lousy fad that is bound to blow over and dry out over time.

Especially Kid Rock.

Much like the clothes you wear and the new hairstyle you’ll get next year, you are merely a fad. You are something that is here for the time being, but which will be gone and forgotten later.

Everything you do today, no matter how noticeable, will either be forgotten or won’t be noticed in the first place. Did you go to the store today? Did you buy something? Did you drink liquid dish soap?

You know who cares? Nobody, that’s who.

If you decided to become a hobo today and eat garbage from dumpsters, you would still be a fad. You’ll never be anything more than a fad, no matter how underground, alternative or non-mainstream you think you are.

No matter what you’re doing, someone has done it before. You pierced your nose? You followed someone else’s idea. You got a tattoo? You’re even more of a follower. Not only are you following others, you’re trying so hard not to follow others that you’re even more of a fad. You’re even more of a part of the system.

You follow the non-followers. You’re a whore for attention. You’re more pathetic than all the people you hate. And that’s saying a lot.

The first thing everyone should do is accept the fact that they’re a fad. Look at yourself in the mirror right now and say, “I am an unoriginal, disposable bastard.” Then smile and go about your day. As long as you know that you’re a fad that will expire someday, you won’t have to worry about it.

If you still think you’re not a fad, answer this: when you die, will people continue to sob forever, or will they stop sobbing at some point?

See? You’re a fad. People may miss you at first, much like how some people missed bellbottoms or thick 1950s glasses right after they went out of style, but that will soon fade. People will forget as they move on to other things and other people.

There may be a time later when you, as a fad, come back into everyone’s thoughts, but it won’t last long. Someone will bring your name up, you will be passed around in people’s thoughts, and then they’ll move on to something new and forget you again. This happens with all fads: platform shoes, big-collared shirts, gigantic furry sideburns.

You are like gigantic furry sideburns. You will soon be forgotten.

Some of you are like disco music, and will never be brought up again. You will never be back in style. I would hate to be disco music. You should try not to be like disco music.

Being brought back as a fad is a short and fairly meaningless resurrection, but at least it means you were fun at some point. It’s good for you to be fun at some point. It’s better for you to be fun at many points.

So what would happen if you didn’t go to work today? Would you remember it in 20 years? Would your boss? No. If you went to a party this weekend and acted like a jerk, would anyone remember it after 20 years? No.

But if you did do those things, you would be having more fun. You would be more fun.

Many fads are never brought back because they were never any fun. You should work harder at being more fun.