This week, I will finally apply for my Wisconsin driver's license. The trouble is, I want a cool picture to go on the license. Please help me by choosing one of the sample license photos below.
1. Here's a typical license photo. Sweet Jesus almond crisp, that's a handsome man.
2. I have yet to see anyone with a combination wide open mouth/retarded hair license. Well, except for mentally retarded people, though I've never actually seen one of them with a license, so I'm not sure if they're allowed to drive. I did see one drinking a beer at a Minnesota Twins game once, so I guess that's kinda sweet.
3. Hello, Mr. Shit-eating Grin With Buttocks Hair. Nice to see you.
4. A man doesn't look quite like a man unless he has his pants on his head.
5. I've never seen the DMV people retake a picture, which makes me tempted to quickly turn to the side as they're shooting the photo.
6. Ever see the movie "License to Drive"? I think this is probably the one I'm going for.
7. A man doesn't look quite like a man unless he has his socks . . . oh, screw it.
8. If I put on ugly glasses, bloat my face out, and look like I'm permanently grimacing, I'll be identical to 80% of the women in Wisconsin.
9. Maybe if I slip the DMV people a $20 bill, they'll let me use a picture of Dustin Diamond.
