In honor of PBS' "The Sixties" documentary, here's a list of little-known facts about the 1960s.
- San Francisco's Haight-Ashbury neighborhood was full of lemurs. Dangerous, fellatio-hungry lemurs. They were indulged by local residents.
- Nixon speechwriter Pat Buchanon turned gay for four seconds in 1964, when he saw Mama Cass naked. He's still kinda gay.
- Mama Cass became gay for five seconds when she saw Pat Buchanon clothed.
- African Americans won a major battle for civil rights in the 60s, but the Swedes did nothing to further themselves politically. Those lazy Swedes.
- During the riots in Chicago at the 1968 Democratic National Convention, police beat the hell out of people and broke every rule of respectable police enforcement, but they smelled wonderful while doing it. The scent of blood was overpowered by Acqua di Gio.
- Astronaut Neil Armstrong invented mesh hats in 1960.
- Jimi Hendrix played his entire set at the Monterey Pop Festival with a raging boner.
- In 1975, the Food and Drug Administration got stoned and required all food labels to include the warning, "Does not contain penis".
- When drafted into the military, draftees were given a tote bag full of lovely gifts, including stationary and coupons for fresh honey-baked ham.
- Astronaut Buzz Aldrin invented bestiality and spooning in 1963.
- Who likes kittens and warm hoagies? Bob Dylan likes kittens and warm hoagies.
- Every Black Panthers meeting was held at the Dinky Donuts in Oakland, California.
- Speaking of the Black Panthers, the group was started by Huey P. Newton, not Huey Lewis and the News. This misconception is common.
- Astronaut John Glenn invented crotchless panties in 1968.
- The late-60s brought riots in Detroit, Cleveland's Hough and Glenville neighborhoods, and Los Angeles' Watts neighborhood, but the Glenville riot was actually a riot of hugs. The neighborhood was nearly burnt to the ground, and 47 local residents were given unwanted hugs.
- In 1965, Paul McCartney of The Beatles got so cocky that at one concert, he pressed his big ass against the microphone and farted during the entire 60 minute performance. Ringo Starr tried the same trick later in the tour, but made poopies in his pants. The concert was halted for nearly 45 minutes while fecal matter was removed from Ringo's codpiece.
- Fried chicken was not as good in 1967 as it was in 1968.
- A staggering 97% of people at the Woodstock music festival were butt-ass ugly.
- The birth control pill was approved for clinical use in 1960 only because John F. Kennedy was sick of paying for Marilyn Monroe's weekly abortions.
- Before Charles Manson became a murderer, he was in a 1966 television commercial for Pete's Lampshade Repair in San Francisco.
- Astronaut Michael Collins never invented anything, but he once wiped his ass with his sweatshirt.
