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A comparison of actress Anne Ramsey, columnist Ann Landers, and Holocaust victim Anne Frank
original print date, January 16 2006
Paul Ryan
| Name |
 Anne Ramsey |
 Ann Landers |
 Anne Frank |
| Nickname |
Mama Fratelli |
Eppie |
Frankles |
| Hair |
Greasy |
Smells like prunes |
Hilarious |
| Year born |
1929 |
1918 |
1929 |
| Age of fame |
56 |
37 |
13 |
| Cause of fame |
'80s movies |
Advice column |
Holocaust diary |
| Cause of death |
Throat cancer |
Multiple myeloma |
Typhus |
| Amazing fact |
Cancer caused parts of tongue and jaw to be removed, creating odd lisp made famous in "Goonies" and "Throw Momma From the Train" |
Identical twin wrote competing column, "Dear Abby" |
Royalties from sale of diary now go to Bobcat Goldthwait |
| Hard to make fun of without looking like a dick? |
No |
No |
YES |
| Ever received praise from Hillary Clinton? |
No. Why not? |
No |
Yes |
| Ever married to basketball star Julius Irving? |
No |
No |
Rumored |
| Made out with Kerri Green? |
YES |
No |
No, sadly |
| Likes bacon? |
Yes |
No |
Only on Hardee's Monster Burgers |
| Promoted fictitious poisoned candy scare of '70s and '80s? |
No |
Yes |
Maybe |
| Where buried? |
In cave with treasure |
Inside Dan Savage's desk |
Former Bergen-Belsen site, next to In-N-Out Burger |
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Bri Fi  | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | Awesome. | | Emily | Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm | | heh. that was kind of funny. | | Ben C. | Feb 4, 8979 • 11:37am | | Poor taste Paul, you\'re losing your touch | | Tony | Feb 4, 2291 • 11:37am | | I would be more impressed if it featured acclaimed actress Angela Lansbury. | | Dennis | Feb 4, 0644 • 11:37am | | You\'re going to hell for that one. If I weren\'t a reasonable person, I\'d dislike you for that. haha |
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