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A comparison of actress Anne Ramsey, columnist Ann Landers, and Holocaust victim Anne Frank

original print date, January 16 2006

     
                Paul Ryan

Name

Anne Ramsey

Ann Landers

Anne Frank

Nickname Mama Fratelli Eppie Frankles
Hair Greasy Smells like prunes Hilarious
Year born 1929 1918 1929
Age of fame 56 37 13
Cause of fame '80s movies Advice column Holocaust diary
Cause of death Throat cancer Multiple myeloma Typhus
Amazing fact Cancer caused parts of tongue and jaw to be removed, creating odd lisp made famous in "Goonies" and "Throw Momma From the Train" Identical twin wrote competing column, "Dear Abby" Royalties from sale of diary now go to Bobcat Goldthwait
Hard to make fun of without looking like a dick? No No YES
Ever received praise from Hillary Clinton? No. Why not? No Yes
Ever married to basketball star Julius Irving? No No Rumored
Made out with Kerri Green? YES No No, sadly
Likes bacon? Yes No Only on Hardee's Monster Burgers
Promoted fictitious poisoned candy scare of '70s and '80s? No Yes Maybe
Where buried? In cave with treasure Inside Dan Savage's desk Former Bergen-Belsen site, next to In-N-Out Burger


                           

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 Reader Comments
page:   1
Bri Fi     Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm  
Awesome.
Emily     Dec 31, 1969 • 4:00pm  
heh. that was kind of funny.
Ben C.     Feb 4, 8979 • 11:37am  
Poor taste Paul, you\'re losing your touch
Tony     Feb 4, 2291 • 11:37am  
I would be more impressed if it featured acclaimed actress Angela Lansbury.
Dennis     Feb 4, 0644 • 11:37am  
You\'re going to hell for that one. If I weren\'t a reasonable person, I\'d dislike you for that. haha
page:   1