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Nobody takes my ideas seriously

by Paul Ryan
Wednesday, Sept. 27, 2006


Untitled Hitler Project

"Pilot"  1AFR62

Description: Animated TV show showing the funnier, more adorable side of the Holocaust. Nazis, but for kids.

Characters:
Adolf Hitler . . . . . Jerry Stiller (voice)
Eva Braun . . . . . Joan Rivers (voice)
Cmndt. Lassard . . . . . George Gaynes (voice)
Officer Mahoney . . . . . Steven Guttenberg (voice)
Officer Tackleberry . . . . . David Graf (voice)
Winston Churchill . . . . . Bernie Mac (voice)

Actor changes: Jerry Stiller not interested in Hitler role? Replace with Ray Romano?

Synopsis: Hitler, Eva Braun, and Winston Churchill live in a small apartment together in New York. Their personalities clash because they're so different! It's "Three's Company" meets "Everybody Loves Raymond" meets "Perfect Strangers" meets "'Till Death" meets "War at Home" meets "Married...With Children" meets "Bosom Buddies" meets "Fox News Sunday With Chris Wallace".

Potential problems: Possible angry letter from Elie Wiesel? Boycott from Jewish community? Change Hitler character to appease sensitive viewers. Instead of hating Jews, animated Hitler loves Jews and instead hates anyone from The Middle East. And Asia. And Africa. And England and America. And especially Israel. Not Jews specifically, though.

Educational value: Did you know Hitler was a high school dropout? You will if you watch this cartoon. Did you know Hitler was homeless and ate ketchup soup just like modern hobos? You will if you watch this cartoon. Did you know Hitler was only 5'8", and that's why he was such a fucking ? That exact line is used in the first episode. Churchill also provides educational moments, including a 40-minute speech on the Edward VIII abdication crisis in the pilot.

Outlook: Rosy like a gay sunset. Kids love Hilter and Bernie Mac. There's been controversial children's shows before, but this is the only one that hasn't involved a pedophile. That is, unless Romano joins the cast. Romano uses his muppet voice to draw children into bushes, where he can insert his penis into their hair and climax.

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 Reader Comments
page:   1
Mike     Oct 1, 2006 • 7:02am  
Swashbuckle? I don't see why it is such a great word. Short of it's vintage meanings, it kinda sounds like something along the categories of the "dirty shantez" or the "strawberry shortcake" sayings. Swashbuckle: when you are whipping it out to get a BJ and your belt buckle slaps the girl in the face.
8berse6     Sep 30, 2006 • 12:06am  
I was just wondering why no one uses the word swashbuckle anymore. It's such an awsome word.
Johnny     Sep 29, 2006 • 6:56pm  
You had me at Steve Guttenberg.
With the Gutte being attached, it's a little "Boys from Brazil"
8berse6     Sep 28, 2006 • 12:58am  
People stopped reviewing again, how rude.
8berse6     Sep 28, 2006 • 12:57am  
Romano uses his muppet voice to draw children into bushes, where he can insert his penis into their hair and climax, and since Paul loves the muppets to, he was tricked the same way.
page:   1