A Contest For People Who Like Beer

Hello, reader. Let me just start this off by asking you a question. Do you like beer? What about when the beer is free? Well, now is your chance to get a free 12-pack of beer. It's really quite simple.

It's a contest, and quite the contest at that. A simple challenge, in which the winner will receive free booze of their choice. So here are the details, plain and simple: the person who can use these free stickers to most creatively promote this website will win a free 12-pack of beer.

Why should you do that for beer? Because it's easy, free and a hell of a lot of fun, that's why. And, as the talented Tim Robbins once said, nothing's better than drinking a cold Bohemia-style beer while tarring your best friend's roof. Except you, lucky dog that you are, won't be tarring a roof, you'll be promoting your favorite website.

What? Yes he did. Tim Robbins did too say that. It was in The Shawshank Redemption. Okay, he didn't say those words exactly, but they were tarring the roof and drinking Bohemia. So what if they were tarring the roof of the liscense plate factory instead of their best friend's roof?!? Nobody cares! It's just a quote! God, I hate you!

Either way, YOU could be drinking a cold Bohemia-style beer, reader. Would you like that? Damn straight you would. But just think: instead of doing hard labor like some dumb sucker, you'll be having fun. All you have to do is think up a creative way to promote dailyramblings.com using the free stickers I provide (and any other means possible). Then you just have to get a picture of what you did and send it to me. That's how easy it is.

You'll have plenty of time to do it. The contest won't end until two months from now. That will give everyone enough time to think up a good idea, do it, and then take a picture of it and send the photo to me. If you have a scanner or a digital camera, you can e-mail it to me. If not, develop the photo and send it by snail mail to:

Paul Ryan
804 Cass St., Apt. 823
La Crosse, WI 54601

If you really want to have fun, get your friends involved. Hell, I'll send free beer to every person who helps you. How's that for motivation?

Now, of course, there are some exceptions. If you're a sissy who doesn't like beer, I suppose I can substitute hard liquor or wine. I'll be disappointed and ashamed of you, but I'll do it. And if you don't like alcohol at all, I can give you a prize of your choice that's of equal value. You request it and I'll get it for you, as long as it's legal and within reason. Likewise, if you're under 21 or you can't prove you're of legal drinking age, then I can't give you alcohol as a prize. The winner(s) will have to verify their age. But for those under 21, it's the same deal as the non-drinkers: your choice of a legal alternative of equal value.

So what criteria am I looking for? What does a winner have that others don't? Well obviously, I want something wild. The more crazy, funny and/or slightly illegal it is, the more likely it will be to catch my attention. Want to put stickers on a police car? You're a moron, but go ahead if you want to (just remember that you can't blame me for incarceration; you're responsible for your own actions). Want to go to the bars and get drunk people to do crazy things with the stickers? Have fun. Want to call the local radio station and whine to the lonely DJ to help you? Sure, just as long as you involve the stickers in some way.

Note: it's a well-known fact that lonely DJ's love ladies. Use it to your advantage, girls.

Honestly, the possibilities are endless. All you have to do is sit down and think up a good idea. And the best part is that it's something fun to do that won't cost you a dime. I pay the postage to send out the stickers.

Now, as you can imagine, I want to get word of this contest out to as many people as possible. Starting tomorrow, I'll be sending out e-mail forwards and doing other various things, in hope that more people will enter. What can you do to help make the contest more fun? Pass on the forwards if you get them, and use the "tell a friend" service below.

So remember:

1.) Request some free stickers.

2.) Have fun thinking up and doing crazy things with the stickers.

3.) Take a picture of the fun you've had.

4.) Send the photo to me.

That's all there is to it. Beer couldn't come to you any easier than this.